Sometimes kids show up that we didn’t expect. Sometimes they come with a lot of surprises.
I know that mine have. Each and every one. One showed up with a whole lot more then what we bargained for. But they all have surprises. In their own little ways, they all have surprises.
This baby. This baby that you just got may come with surprises. A whole bunch of them, but all they need is everything that you’ve given to each other kid that’s come before them. Love. That’s all.
All of the extra stuff that goes along with that new special kid is love.
All the doctor’s appointments. All the loss sleep. (And not because they AREN’T sleeping, but because you’re wondering if they are still breathing while they are sleeping so much.) All the therapy. It’s all love. It’s because you love them and you want the best for them.
Our children no matter what their diagnosis are precious to us. We will move heaven and earth to give to them what they need.
But all that moving…all that moving of heaven and earth is just plain exhausting.
The strong front that we put up when others are watching, wondering what it’s like to be in our shoes, but happy that they got the kid without the “issues”. It’s hard to explain to people the grief of not getting what you were expecting, but being grateful for what you have.
What we don’t know now is that He knew what He was doing when He ordained it ALL before time. He knew what He was doing. He was doing and ordaining for HIS glory. Not ours. Not others, but HIS.
He knew that with each success of this sweet new baby you’d get excited for her. You’d throw a party, because sitting up is a BIG DEAL.
He knew that you’d struggle with people. Struggle so hard with them. Trying hard to save face, but then losing it when you saw your husband. Grace, for saving face. Realness and grace for your patient husband.
He knew you’d struggle with perspective. What others perceived and what you perceived. He knew you’d struggle with acceptance. Acceptance of the diagnosis and what life looked like now, even though much hadn’t really changed.
You got a new kid. She’s not what you expected. She’s more. She’s her own new person. She needs more help. She needs love. She needs nothing more than what you’d do for your other kids. You’d give your life for them, so you’ll give your life for her.
She’s perfect. Just what you needed, but you didn’t know it. Maybe still don’t. But you need her like you need the others. He knew. That’s why He gave her to you.
Go give her a kiss.