Carry one anothers burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

To walk beside those who grieve you need to be committed to the journey.  The journey is long and arduous.  The end is not in sight.  Over time the pain eases, but it is forever present.  Until the reunion in heaven, grief and sorrow is a part of our life on this earth.

As the friends to those who are grieving and working through the loss of a child, be in prayer for them.  The best things that friends can do is pray for their hurting friends.  Pray with a vengence.  Pray that their faith will remain steadfast in Jesus-in God’s sovereign grace and mercy.  Pray that their hope will be in the One who created them and who has ordained our steps.   Pray that the Holy Spirit will hold them up.  Hold them up when their legs and feet are too weak to stand.  Pray that if they have other children, that Jesus will protect their hearts.  That their little minds will ask questions, but that they will also receive an amazing understand and trust in our God. 

It’s easy to be there for friends in the beginning.  Smother them with meals, flowers, words and love.  These things are wonderful and helpful, but the coming weeks are still hard.  The pain doesn’t ease quickly.  It takes time.  Reach out, but respect their wishes if they want to be alone and stay as a close family unit for awhile.  

It’s ok to not say anything.  One thing that people often think is that words will help the pain go away.  If we can say something to “help” then we’ll feel like we’ve been wise and helpful, when really they are empty words.  It’s ok to say that you don’t know what to say.  The Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we don’t have words.  Hugs and tears from a friend are at most times very comforting.

Listen.  Listen to friends who are grieving.  Be patient and listen to their hurting heart.  Pray as you listen.  Let the Holy Spirit guide your words and love your friends where they are at. 

Grief and loss is the hardest thing in the world.  The best thing we can do as friends is pray and be available when they’re ready to talk and listen with attentive ears and loving hearts. 

  And the LORD will guide you continually
   and satisfy your desire in scorched places
   and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
   like a spring of water,
   whose waters do not fail.   Isaiah 58:11

Though we go through suffering and grief, our Lord is with us.  He is guiding us and our friends who are suffering.  He strengthens us and makes us whole.  His Spirit intercedes for us when we have no words.   He prunes us.  He waters us.  He makes us into His beautiful garden.  That is hopeful, but at the same time painful. 

Pray my dear friends.  Pray without ceasing.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Angie DeHoop

    I don’t think anyone could have said it better! You MUST write a book someday about the journey through grief!!! I love listening to you talk and write. It’s always raw and real and hopeful even when in the most despair. The pain and loss is enormous but I am thankful the Lord chose you to endure it because you help so many!! Love your guts, Friend! 🙂

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For Those Who Walk Beside Those Who Grieve