There are many times when we hear something tragic we feel like we need to say something. When a friend tells us their baby has died inside them. Or when a friend shares about their struggling marriage.  Or when a friend shares that they have lost their job. Or if a friend has lost a family member. Or if a friend discovers that their child is disabled. (The list goes on and on.) There are many times we feel like we NEED to say something.

We don’t.

We don’t need to fill that space with words, because a lot of times there are no words to say and if we did say something it would just be filling a void to make us feel better.

This week, I have had friends and family share hard news with me, and each time I have said, “I have nothing. I have no words.” Even in my prayers for them I have had nothing. My prayers have been considered lame if I was sitting in a prayer circle at church being judged, but they have been prayers of my heart. “Lord, I don’t know what to say. Please help _______. Lord, please help _____. Give _____ wisdom.”

Romans 8:26 says, “…the Spirit intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.” When we don’t have words the Spirit will intercede for us and groan for us. My prayers seem trite and without wordless but our Lord hears our groanings for ourselves and our friends.

We are quick to say something, but not always quick to think. We are quick to fill a void so that we do not feel uncomfortable, but in that uncomfortableness Jesus is there. He does not run away from uncomfortable like we do. He gets in there and He comforts. He also uses His children to comfort others.

A time will come to speak while we walk with our friends, but more often than not the cries of our heart for our loved ones is enough. When the time to speak does come, we must ask the Lord for wisdom and share His word. His Word is the only absolute truth and perfect wisdom for all of our hurting hearts.


When there are no words…