Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy. Happy Birthday.

We’ve tried to celebrate the kids’ birthdays well.  Presents, cake of their choice, food of their choice, sometimes birthday parties, sometimes small gatherings, sometimes the beach, sometimes family from out of town and sometimes just hanging out at home.  I guess Boston’s birthday is no different, even though he is with Jesus for his 5th birthday.

For quite some time last year, he kept telling me that he wanted five birthdays.  He’d say, “Mom, I want five birthdays!”  My response was always, “I WANT you to have five birthdays.”  He’d give me a hug and run off and go play.  I remember thinking each time, “That’s weird.  Why does he say that?” I never told him that he would have five birthdays.  I just couldn’t.  I knew, after losing our son Eli, that life has no guarantees.  I couldn’t guarantee him five birthdays.  In good conscience, I couldn’t do that.  Jesus knows the number of our days, I do not.

Boston is five.  Tomorrow.  He is five.  This is his fifth birthday.  There has been celebration already.  Family has come to town.  Friends are coming.  Orange balloons have been lifted to the heavens.  A Captain America cake is in the works. Presents will be given, but not how we had originally expected.

Our hearts hurt so badly.  We are so so sad.  No words can even convey the sadness.

Boston, we love you. So much.  You are so missed.  We cherish you.  We feel so honored that Jesus asked us to take care of you and love you for nearly five years.  We loved your laughter, your jokes, your smile, your love of monster trucks and super heros.  We love how high you could jump on the trampoline and your toughness when you fell off your bike.  We love how you would drag your blankie all around the house and how big you were getting to leave it in the car or on your bed.  We love the curls in your hair, the smile on your lips, your big blue eyes and your sweet arms that would wrap around our necks and be as tough as the Hulk.  Your love of life was infectious.  You were a joy.  You were healing for our family and Jesus knew exactly what we needed when get lent you to us.

Until we are Home…Boston we love you.  So so so so much.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18